Update
OK, so after a manager whose name was presumably Andrew had me on hold for 20 mins, my battery died. I called back from my cell and talked to someone different, who was much less cookie cutter and really tried to help. I was close to exploding at that point, since I had to explain everything again. He put me on hold and worked things out with his supervisor. He finally managed to make things happen and I should be receiving two new units this Wed or Thursday, but only because they are sending me 3Gs, as the WiFi only are presumably impossible to get this week (not what techiegirl's hubby received for an answer).
What I noticed is that the first time, I talked to a service center in India/Bangladesh(?), the second time, definitely not. I wonder if the level of customer support depends on this factor at all, or if it is just coincidence. I can tell you that my feelings on Amazon as a company were very much influenced both times I talked to these two service centers - after the first one, I was ready to call it a day and look into alternatives, while I am now a bit more optimistic.
The CS rep said that they do not have any refurb units they ship out, so I definitely received new units. I just don 't get how that repair notice ghosted onto the screen. Doesn't that mean someone turned it on first, in order for it to appear? Did they do QC, see it, and mail it off anyway to meet their quota?!
I have my hopes up that maybe the 3Gs being different hardware, they have less issues. I really really hope so.
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