Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney's Mom
...
Do you hoarde anything except books? Does your other hoarde resemble your book hoarde in any way? Do you really NOT feel bad about your book hoarde (this is separate from buying things you cannot afford)?
|
Yes, along with books, I hoard photographic gear. It certainly resembles my book hoarde in that it either shares or has its own book shelves, and that it is bought to expand and grow my mind and ideas and to satisfy curiosity. I constantly feel bad about it because there are significant self esteem issues locked into the gravity well of constant failure - to know of, but not to know; to know how to do something but not to do it; to have creative inspiration but never to create.
Along these lines I also collect potential hobbies. There is barely a spot in this house where I can glance in any direction without seeing something I failed to continue or even commence (including knitting). I hoard possibility, unused, collected in the hope it converted potential but perhaps too worried it won't properly convert, or won't convert as perfectly as my mind has already converted it. Everything must be "just right" to begin, and I can never find just right, also seeing past failures and self-doubts and disappointments repeating themselves.
I'm currently looking for another camera, from around 1970, film (obviously) not convenient to process, a bulky camera possibly impractical to handhold. I tell myself lots of good stories as to why. It'll likely end up another item/reminder on display.
Cheers,
Marc