Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitchawl
Because you're a friend (and I only make this offer to friends,) I'm going to let you in on an investment concept that I make to my friends who play the weekly lotteries....
I will GUARANTEE (guarantee!!  ) you a 50% return on your investment! Yes... you heard me correctly. I will guarantee you a 50% return on your investment.
Now... most folks who play the lottery or invest in stocks lose a lot more than they win, right. Buy a $1 lottery ticket every week, and MAYBE win back a $2 prize every 4-6 months. It happens, right. Sure. But what are the odds? 1 chance in several thousand? How many 100's of dollars worth of tickets do you have to buy to win back two dollars?
But... and here's the guarantee part... If you invest that $1 with "Stitchawl Payouts," I will guarantee to pay you 50% back! Translated into your £1800 tax rebate, this means I will guarantee to give you back £900!!! Can you imagine?!? 50% Guaranteed! And unlike some insurance companies who cancel you out if you collect, "Stitchawl Payouts" will never refuse your investments. I will continue to pay you 50% every time you invest, no matter how much or how often.
You don't have to thank me now. Wait for your first check. 
Stitchawl |
You see Stitchaw,
YOUR company only makes 50% profits.
Now, if you invest in
Little-
Corporation-
Friendly, we can guarantee 70% company profit!*
*
Spoiler:
Which basically means, the investors get 30% back.
Sign here please.
With blood.
