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Sakinah · 08-15-2012, 01:01 PM

I think the cover is good but for the blurb I'd put the name of the planet/kingdom in the first sentence.

Something like this:

[ In the kingdom/land of xxxxxx] Brother warriors Galen and Chor are sent to a nearby moon to recover a mental adept who, although untrained and unaware, must stand in the way of an advancing enemy.

or

[During the turbulent time in the land/kingdom of xxxxxxx] Brother warriors Galen and Chor are sent to a nearby moon to recover a mental adept who, although untrained and unaware, must stand in the way of an advancing enemy.

My two cents.

08-15-2012, 01:01 PM	#6
Sakinah Junior Member Posts: 7 Karma: 445628 Join Date: Jun 2012 Device: none	I think the cover is good but for the blurb I'd put the name of the planet/kingdom in the first sentence. Something like this: [ In the kingdom/land of xxxxxx] Brother warriors Galen and Chor are sent to a nearby moon to recover a mental adept who, although untrained and unaware, must stand in the way of an advancing enemy. or [During the turbulent time in the land/kingdom of xxxxxxx] Brother warriors Galen and Chor are sent to a nearby moon to recover a mental adept who, although untrained and unaware, must stand in the way of an advancing enemy. My two cents.