[knc1]

I would have expected that to work.

Oops . . .
Did you mean: --with-libdir=/home/lib rather than -libdir=/home/lib?
or, maybe,
--with-ncurses-lib= ? if the ./configure --help says its available (the ./configure --short might not mention it).

Double oops . . .
That message is refering to <include>/ncurses/header_files.h

--with-include-dir= if offered by the ./configure --help command.

Otherwise you might have to force the situation with something like:
LDFLAGS=-L/home/us/lib CFLAGS=-I/home/us/include ./configure --prefix= .....
That way, configure will generate the Makefiles with those settings included.