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Originally Posted by GeoffC
my chrono-passport will|has|is expired...
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A Passport is not required (biometrics are so bothersome).
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my transport will|did not|has not arrived...
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Taxis are not required (travel is so tedious).
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I have a prior|post|present engagement I cannot|will not be able to|cannot change...
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Prior engagement rearrangements are not required (unavailability is so unattractive)
Geoff, departure will occur at a time in which you were|are|will be available.
Should you have some pressing desire to
not attend, it would behoove you to concentrate your explanations on succinctness and accuracy. My very busy preparations leave me in a somewhat limited capacity to explicate the convoluted impossibility of an apologist's RSVP. As I have previously indicated, receipt of an invitation is a certainty of attendance. No RSVP is required, as your attendance is predetermined. I am...confused, and it would concern me and wound my pride in being an exquisite host should I somehow muff my seating arrangements and inadvertently place you between Taylor and Adrian through attempting to resolve this apparent paradox.
I am of an understanding that a first experience of a Party of mine can be, for some individuals, a culturally shocking event. However, previous experience suggests that such a jolt displaces further anxiety on future attendance, and a familiar warmth and rhythm soon envelopes, and allows one to assist the acclimatisation of new Party Virgins. Should there be incidents from the earlier "High Tea" introductory Party that exasperated you, annoyed you, disturbed you, upset you, or tore you physically and metaphysically apart between the bloodied claws and jaws of a possibly-enraged fairy by the name of Mindy, I can assure you that further Rules have been enacted (eg. "DO NOT FRACK WITH THE FAIRY!"), and that I have made special note to myself to ensure that sufficient Zany Carters are imbibed by all guests to alleviate (future|)memory effects.
I realise that you do not specifically dislike either myself or my Parties, however, and as mentioned, having to refocus my prevailing distemperate attention onto a single, individually-created Refusal-Paradox at the typically-chaotic procurement and preparation stage, and away from organising the congenial seating geometries of the innumerable attendees expected at Yvan's Infinite Table, inevitably leads to odd, unexpected, negative fluctuations in the trouser-legs of time. It would cause me significant distress should a guest of mine, misplaced amidst my current, anxious choler, be inadvertently relocated during transfer arrangements into the kitchen larder and, more specifically, within the belly of a defrosting Oortwhale full of furious, re-invigorated Dark Energy Irukandji.
I do hope this can be satisfactorily resolved.
In your service,
High Gibbonate and Maître de Soirée
Marc (and Adrian...who is getting antsy and beginning to frown and flail)