[Prestidigitweeze]

When I first glanced at it, I misread the brand name ASUS, so that the thread title seemed to read "Using my daughter's Ass Transformer."

Immediately, I was plunged into a dismal universe in which people on airplane flights used the device to take up more space, their ever-expanding buttocks pushing me out into the aisle and then into the flight attendants' station.

Or perhaps an ass transformer could be used to mold donkeys into the shapes of national monuments. No one would get much riding done, but at least the barnyard would look more patriotic.