[5thWiggle]

Under the bed, where the dust-bunnies gambol and frolic, the Tome of Wonderment lay. It had slipped from the fingers of the Princess who fell so exhausted after a night of clandestine reading (against the express wishes of her father, the King) that even the Tome could no longer keep her from slumber. Slipping from the relaxing fingers of the Princess, the Tome succumbed to gravity’s inexorable lure and fell. Bouncing off the stuffed Unicorn-With-Just-One-Eye-And-No-Horn-But-Is-Really-A-Unicorn-Not-A-Horse, the Tome exited the normal world and entered the Realm of Shadows.
When dawn broke and the Morning Bells tolled, the Princess begrudgingly awoke. Despite being still sleepy from the excesses of the night before, the Princess was eager to resume her perusal of the enchanting Tome and ignore the drudgeries of the morning routine. Bleary-eyed, she made a cursory search for the beloved book but found it not.
“Alas!” she wailed, “My beloved book is gone! Woe is me!”
“But what could have become of it?” she wondered as she glanced around the room. Then, her eyes fell upon the Royal Bunk-Bed (loving made by Tromsö, elf from the Land of Ikea), and noticed that the top mattress was empty!
“Aha! My Evil Twin Sister is missing, and my book is gone. She must be the culprit of this hideous outrage”
The thought of her Evil Twin Sister enjoying the Tome of Wonderment, while the Princess herself was bereft, soon had her collapse in a heap sobbing inconsolably.
The sound of the wailing, rending of clothes and gnashing of teeth brought the King from his morning absolutions.
“Dearest Princess, what vexes thee so?” wondered the King.
“Alas, alack and woe is me! My Evil Twin Sister has wronged me so! She has stolen my Tome of Wonderment”
Having heard this sort of thing before, this statement did raise doubt in the mind of the King. “But Princess,” the King said calmly, smiling though it hurt, “are you not casting false accusations upon your Beloved Sister? For it was not but a moment ago that I passed her in the dining hall (where you should be as well, but are not), dutifully eating her breakfast. Of books, I saw none. Perchance it is still here though you see it not.”
Looking about the room, the King indeed saw many books, though none were in their appointed place amid the shelves (artfully wrought by Billy, also of the Land of Ikea) and none were the Tome of Wonderment. “If thou would put thy books away, instead of leaving them lay where thee has dropped them, thou could find thy books and the Royal Treasury would not be squandered so on the Artisans of the Land of Ikea.”, the King grumbled under his breath. “Spending good coin to gain shelves that hold aught but dust...” he continued, “Good Elf Billy will see no more of my gold till my daughters tidy this midden!”
Calming himself with a deep breath, the King surveyed the Princess’ bedroom. Spying several suspicious shapes upon the bed, the King summoned his Might and Magic. Casting aside the bedclothes, he shouted “Behold!” But it was not to be. Though there were indeed books amid the linen, none were the wanted Tome. “Gone forever!” wailed the Princess. “I’ll never find out how it ends!”
Resigning himself, the King prostrated himself before the Royal Bunk-Bed cast the spell of Lumination Expel Darkness (LED for short). He projected light into the Land of Shadows, then, scattering the demons and dust-bunnies alike, he drew the revealed treasures unto himself. There, amidst forgotten toys, lost socks, and the dust of centuries was the Book! “There!” sneezed the King. “Your sister is innocent of this crime. Now go dry your tears, blow your nose, and ready yourself for your tutelage.”
When she saw the book, the Princess’ eyes lit up. She hugged the Tome of Wonderment to herself as if it were the most precious object in the entire world. Without stopping to wipe her face, she ran forward and gave the King a large, wet kiss. Then, still clutching the Book, she skipped toward the door. Pausing at the door, she turned to the King and said: “Daddy, you shouldn’t squeeze my unicorn so tightly. It’s not your toy, you know.”
As the Princess happily skipped away, the King violently cast the Unicorn-With-Just-One-Eye-And-No-Horn-But-Is-Really-A-Unicorn-Not-A-Horse to the floor and vowed to revisit the Princess’ bedroom armed with a garbage bin and a shovel.

Moral of the story: In certain parts of the realm, the floor is the only bookshelf used anyway...