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I'm not convinced that most science fiction has gotten grim. But then, I prefer science fiction that is overall positive in nature even when there is conflict or issues to overcome.
I love Lois McMaster Bujold's science fiction Vorkosigan series. Space opera with some space military, wonderful sense of humour and a light touch of romance. All superbly crafted.
As well, Elizabeth Moon's Vatta and Seranno/Suiza series. Once again, strong military, good humour and light romance. And her Speed of Dark book was brilliant and I also enjoyed Remnant Population for a great elderly character. (also an excellent elderly character in Vatta series)
And Kristine Katherine Rusch's Retrieval Artist series. Great clash of human/alien cultures, strong characters.
While there is drama and some dark elements in parts of these, especially the Retrieval Artist series, these are overall about star spanning societies and are quite positive.
I find dreary, post apocalyptic stories somewhat boring. Stories that try to wring every last bit of anguish out of a character and try to be too dark seem to suffer in their story telling to me.
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