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Old 04-12-2012, 09:14 PM   #4811
Daithi
Publishers are evil!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeterT View Post
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached, and asked if he could join him.

The first man said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes.

The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, so how about playing for five bucks a hole?"

The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.

He confessed that he was the pro at a neighbouring course, and liked to pick on suckers.

The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.

The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday, and make a donation -- and if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."
I think a friend of mine played that priest. Basically the same thing happened. My friend asked if he wanted to play together and the priest said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

On the very first hole my friend hooked his shot into the trees, and without thinking blurted out "Sh*t! I missed that one."

The priest says, "If you don't mind could you not cuss?"

"Oh, sorry," says my friend.

A couple holes later and my friend slices one into the woods. Once again, he let's fly with "Sh*t! I missed again."

The priest says, "Please. Watch the language."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

On the very next hole, while on the putting green, my friend misses an easy two foot putt. Without thinking, he says, "Sh*t! I missed again."

Now the skies darken up. A clap of thunder booms over head. A bolt of lightning streaks from the heavens and kills the priest dead.

Then my friend hears a booming voice coming from the clouds that says, "Sh*t! I missed again."
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