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If you want to continue using Sony's Reader Library without automatic sync'ing, you have to turn off sync.
This is potentially problematic, because to turn off sync, you have to plug in your Reader, which will try to sync, perhaps before you get a chance to turn off sync. To turn off sync, you uncheck all the check boxes that appear when you click on the green icon "Sync", which appears when you expand your Reader device icon. (I don't recall, but I think I was able to quickly turn off sync successfully before automatic sync'ing started.) Once done, however, you'll never sync again. You can drag and drop instead, from your Library to the Reader.
This is the way the Windows Reader Library works. I'm not sure about the Mac version as I don't own a Mac.
Although you can avoid sync'ing by using Calibre exclusively to load ebooks, if you have any need whatsoever for Sony's Reader Library (e.g., purchasing Sony ebooks, or downloading OverDrive library books without opening Adobe Digital editions) you'll probably want to do the above. Why? Because despite your intentions to never have the Reader plugged in when the Reader Library software is running, it's too easy to accidentally do a download to Sony Reader Library when your Reader is plugged in. Poof, stuff syncs.
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