Quote:
Originally Posted by vivaldirules
Pshwynk, oh sir, oh sir. This is VR, your loyal Chief of Security and future King of Homeland Security, reporting back for duty (pant). Sorry for taking so long but I can assure you that my tail (pant) is indeed still there (pant, pant) just as you ordered. I just couldn't catch up to the darn thing and, well, I started thinking about the state of our country and all those rogue states that need to be brought bacon...I mean...back in line again. Anyway, maybe tomorrow, for the good of the country, of course, we could invade Iowa. I hear they have some good porkers there. I mean to say pork barrellers. Gotta stop that. So whaddaya say? Should I send the governor there a warning letter or just let 'em have one across the bow?
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They're kind of under water, right now, so finding the bow would be difficult. Pigs do swim well, however, so I'd hold off the invasion for a couple weeks until it's drier.
I'll be in Iowa in two weeks for my dad's 80th B'day, so I can do the initial scouting for you. I would suggest Walker's hog confinement operation just outside Washington as a starting point, since they are a) large and b) smelly. Everyone would win. you chould have your bacon, and I could have an odor free visit with the parentals.