[
EDIT: Oh boy, I'm a trigger happy idiot sometimes. The hack below is for the Nook Color, not Simple Touch. Since the hardware is very similar, it may still work. We'll see.]
Given enough thrashing about (thanks everyone!), the right question emerges. And with it, the answer.
The problem began to be solved last June by Nook Simple Touch rockstar, verygreen:
http://forum.xda-developers.com/show....php?t=1105497
Now it is just a matter of ironing out all wrinkles and packaging the solution so that non-programmers like me can use it, too. Maybe a microSD card with everything necessary loaded and a very short list of installation instructions? I don't know. Will inquire and get back to you ASAP.
Feeling very pleased at the moment. Again, to everyone who has read, posted, otherwise added attention to the issue: