[zelda_pinwheel]

bad keyboards !!!

my last keyboard was a cheap affair, the most basic one you can buy, and it served me faithfully for several years. it was i don't know the how many-th keyboard of its kind i have bought, replacing them with a twin when necessary. incredibly ugly (beige, in fact, like a *really* old mac), but thoroughly functional. it had nice supple keys, quite responsive, which made a satisfying click when you hit them. there was a separate numerical keypad (essential), the F keys were divided into groups which made finding the F5 and F6 keys easy without looking at them, the arrow keys were in their own little mini-cluster along with the home, screen print, end and delete key (and a couple of others i never use), and the enter key was a large, unmissable L shaped block. i could navigate the entire thing blindfolded.

but it was very old and probably had absorbed more dust (and cat hair... infernal cats...) than i can imagine, and the keys had become quite hard to depress, so that lately half of the letters i typed would not appear. infuriating, when you type very quickly without looking at the keyboard (as i do). so yesterday i bought a new one.

i asked for the cheapest one they had (15€), expecting it to be yet again the same beige basic model i always ended up with.

alas.

it is black and stylie, but who cares. it is an "enhanced" media keyboard, with a whole row of completely superfluous keys at the top, to launch my browser / email client / music player from the keyboard ! (if i install the driver, of course). i have a very nice dock at the top of my screen, and i am quite handy with a mouse, so i really don't need this.

it is a compact model, and the keys are shallow so the topography is not so pronounced, and my fingers never seem to know where they are. i still have a numerical keypad, but all the keys from the arrow block have been integrated into the main block, and the F keys are all run together immediately above the top number keys, to make room for the screen print, "arrêt défil", "pause attn" and delete keys at the end of the row, and this row is only about half the height of the regular keys. no more ctrl+F5 or F6 (insert new keyframe) without looking. and since the backspace key is no longer the top corner key, i will have to pay attention to find it instead of the home key, the "arrêt défil", "pause attn" or delete keys which now surround it.

the enter key is only a double width key instead of an L, and above it (not to the left of it), where the riser of the L should be, is where they stuck the asterisk / mu key !!! which means i have to lift my hand completely from the keyboard to type an asterisk. since i *like* to use asterisks (as i have just demonstrated, completely spontaneously), this is a problem. incomprehensibly, there is also a *duplicate* of this key between the left alt key and the (ridiculously truncated) spacebar. why ???

but the *worst* feature of this keyboard is that the keys have a spongy, evasive touch to them, which means that, once again, half the letters i type do not appear... including, frequently, the letter F, which being directly under my index finger is not likely to be a key i can miss or hit too lightly.

it is driving me crazy. CRAZY. CRAZY !!!

if i cannot adapt to it in 2 or 3 days (why should i need to adapt to a KEYBOARD ??? normally i can use one almost without any conscious thought or attention, and that is exactly how it should be.) i will have to buy another one, and in the meantime i can see my typing will be more like typo-ing, and i will spend my time constantly irritated by the poor ergonomics of this infuriatingly bad design.

if i could find the incompetent buffoon who has inflicted this upon me, i would hit him over the head with his own useless keyboard. if *you* find him, please do it for me, and also tell him where he can stick his stupid, defective "f" key (and what it stands for).