I feel so bad for you, dsleg!
My tech knowledge is not enough to help you, but I will search for the golden dingo MasterTech refers to, and any other posts I can find from people who had similar problems.
Edit: The first 2 links in MasterTech's last post in this thread might help you:
https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=135544
Also note the information in Obsessed's "Resources for New Edge and Pocket Edge Owners" thread:
https://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=132878