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The XBMC method I can explain away. There are a few ways you can chain XBMC setups. The first is you have a server and from there other XBMC instances can access the libraries via UPNP. I was using this method for a while. I moved over to using a MySQL database where all the XBMC instances share the same library.
The only real advantage I have with using MySQL (in what actually works for me) is that I only have to scrape the media once and then it is available to all my machines.
For Calibre something like itunes home sharing would be perfect.
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