After beating my head against the wall long enough I finally figure out what was wrong.
I'm using Norton on the machine running Calibre. I changed the Norton Calibre rule to log any activity. Once I did that I could see when it was working when using one of the wired or wireless windows machines on the network.
When I tried the iPhone Norton showed no activity at all. So that ruled out the Calibre machine as the problem. The connection request was getting killed before it even reached the Calibre machine.
So that left the iPhone itself or the router.
So once I checked the router (a Netgear WNDR3700) I remembered that I had the iPhone connecting on the guest wireless network. The ssid and password are much shorter. It is a pain to manually type both of them into the iPhone so using the guest wireless network was easier.
One of the settings I have on the guest wireless network is to isolate it from the rest of the network (Enable Wireless Isolation). This is so that if you have people over you can give them the guest ssid/password and they can get out to the internet but cannot do any damage to anything else on the home network.
I made the iPhone forget that guest wireless network and had it connect to my normal 2.4G wireless network and everything is working just fine now.
So hopefully this will help someone else out in the future.
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