Here's another sample from
Bloated Goat:
Chapter Thirteen
Walter Wolf knew he was getting close to his prey. He was salivating almost constantly. He could almost taste a slowly roasted chicken leg lightly seasoned with secret herbs and spices. He imagined following that up with a goblet filled with bloated juices and a plate stacked high with tender goat meat. But he couldn’t imagine what he would do with an old saggy shark.
Walter’s stamina was almost at a breaking point. With no real food in his belly for a few weeks, he had thought more than once about eating his mother-in-law, but had decided against that to save his marriage. He had thought about dipping his own tail in ketchup and eating it, but just couldn’t get himself to take the first bite.
Walter had been frustrated lately. Where were the plump little pigs trying to build homes when you needed them? Where was that tasty naïve gingerbread man running through the countryside? And where, oh where, was the little girl dressed in red clothes skipping through the woods with a basket full of goodies?
But now, Walter felt he had caught a break. He was close. Wonderful aromas were floating in the air. He could smell a goat lightly marinated in special sauce. He could smell the fresh and tender chicken with a hint of salt. And finally, he could sniff what could only be described as old lady jockey shorts and mothballs, which made his nose wrinkle in disgust.
Sneaking alongside The River, Walter could hear a large celebration in full swing. He quickly slithered up the bank and hid behind a tall pine. Carefully poking his head around the trunk, he could see what all the lively commotion was about.
A large bonfire was roaring in the middle of thousands of partying mushrooms. Nearby, a barbeque was being handled by several smiling mushroom cooks. One larger mushroom wearing a white chef’s hat and an apron that proudly announced “Kiss a Shroom, Go Ka-boom!” was standing on a raised platform near a large black cauldron. He had several spice shakers and seemed to really enjoy sprinkling various seasonings on Bloated Goat, who was bobbing up and down in the brew.
Walter looked past the fire and saw a wooden cage hanging from a tree. The cage was swinging ever so slightly as a sad young rooster with trembling beak lips watched the cooking scene. He was grasping the bars so tightly that his hands had turned completely white, which wasn’t a hard thing to manage since they were covered in white feathers. The rooster looked utterly downtrodden, and that brought a hungry smile to Walter’s gaunt face. It’s a shame you can’t find cage free chicken anymore, Walter thought. Slinking away into the shadows, he waited for the perfect moment to spring into action.
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