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Two old ladies were sitting on the verandah of their nursing home smoking. It started to rain, Mary reached into her bag, retrieved a condom and a pair of scissors, she snipped the end off the condom, pulled the remainder over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Her friend was astonished asking, "What is that?"
"It's a condom, keeps my cigarettes dry, you can get them at the drug store."
The next day Violet was first in the queue at the counter of the drug store. "A large box of condoms please young man."
Staggered the pharmacist looked at her and asked "How old are you madam?"
"89, why?"
"Well, what size would you prefer?"
"I don't care as long as it fits my camel."
At this point the guy fainted.
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