|
For PeterT, Poohbear, and April Hare...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Read the answers:
REV JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side."
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain
and simple as that.
KEN STARR:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest
of the president of the United States of America in an effort to
distract law enforcement officials and the American public from
the criminal wrong doing our highest elected official has been
trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn
in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct
justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff
intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he
co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken
will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until
our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations
have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid
Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell,
alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit
any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to
ruffle his feathers.)
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSAIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
eChicken.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean
by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken
crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
|