UPDATE:
So I called Sony. The person on the other end was able to find the chat transcript from earlier today by using my email address, and then said that if I was willing to give him a credit card they will send me a replacement right away. I'll get my replacement 950 in 3-5 business days, and in the box will be a shipping label for returning the broken reader. As long as I return my broken one in 15 days, the credit card won't be charged.
I asked for clarification a couple of times to make sure I got everything right, but according to the Sony rep I should have my replacement reader by this weekend. Sending my broken one back within the time limit will not be a problem, I will get that done as soon as humanly possible.
The only thing that makes me feel a bit screwed over is that the replacement is what the rep called "reconditioned" so it only has a 3 month warranty. At the same time, I'd much rather have that, then a 950 that can't turn pages! All in all, things are looking up. If this actually works out and comes through, I may have to revise my opinion of Sony's customer service.
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