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Manley Peterson · 10-01-2011, 11:52 AM

Here's a short excerpt from Chapter 8 of Bloated Goat:

The entire population of the mushroom village was sitting in a large courtyard facing the head table. The Mushroom King was sitting at this wooden dinner table with a large white bib around this neck. He was quite satisfied with himself. He had marinated and seasoned Bloated Goat and placed him on a silver tray face up with an apple in his mouth. Sitting beside the king were his most trusted subjects and other members of the court. Everyone was waiting on the king to start eating, but he decided to start with a toast.

“My dear mushrooms…” he began.

But not everyone was listening to that useless prattle. Walter Wolf knew this was the perfect time to spring his chicken meal. Luckily, the mushroom guards near Cocky’s cage had left their posts and gathered with the poorer mushroom folk at the edge of the crowd to hear the king’s speech. Silently climbing up the tree, he raised his head level with the cage, and whispered, “Psst, hey kid. Psst.”

Cocky had been sadly listening to the king’s toastings and boastings when he was startled by Walter’s voice. He turned quickly and looked at the wolf suspiciously. “What? Are you talking to me?”

“Well, yeah, do you see anyone else in this cage with you? I’m here to bust you out before you get eaten like that bloated meat sack down there,” Walter said pointing in the king’s direction. “Or would you rather wait for your turn on the grill?”

Whether it was sheer stupidity or the hopelessness of the situation, Cocky decided to take the wolf’s help. He knew he shouldn’t be anywhere near a hungry, salivating wolf; in fact, it was rule number seven in the Ultimate Chicken Survival Handbook. It was sandwiched right between rule number six—never trust anyone named The Colonel, and rule number eight—always keep the secret of which came first.

Cocky nodded to Walter. With his super sharp claws, Walter ripped open the lock like it was made of wet paper and hopped from the tree into the cage. “Quickly, quickly, climb onto my back before the guards return.”

You can read the rest of the hilarious story for $.99 on Kindle, Nook, or Smashwords.

10-01-2011, 11:52 AM	#28
Manley Peterson Author of Bloated Goat Posts: 105 Karma: 100000 Join Date: Nov 2010 Device: Kindle	Here's a short excerpt from Chapter 8 of Bloated Goat: The entire population of the mushroom village was sitting in a large courtyard facing the head table. The Mushroom King was sitting at this wooden dinner table with a large white bib around this neck. He was quite satisfied with himself. He had marinated and seasoned Bloated Goat and placed him on a silver tray face up with an apple in his mouth. Sitting beside the king were his most trusted subjects and other members of the court. Everyone was waiting on the king to start eating, but he decided to start with a toast. “My dear mushrooms…” he began. But not everyone was listening to that useless prattle. Walter Wolf knew this was the perfect time to spring his chicken meal. Luckily, the mushroom guards near Cocky’s cage had left their posts and gathered with the poorer mushroom folk at the edge of the crowd to hear the king’s speech. Silently climbing up the tree, he raised his head level with the cage, and whispered, “Psst, hey kid. Psst.” Cocky had been sadly listening to the king’s toastings and boastings when he was startled by Walter’s voice. He turned quickly and looked at the wolf suspiciously. “What? Are you talking to me?” “Well, yeah, do you see anyone else in this cage with you? I’m here to bust you out before you get eaten like that bloated meat sack down there,” Walter said pointing in the king’s direction. “Or would you rather wait for your turn on the grill?” Whether it was sheer stupidity or the hopelessness of the situation, Cocky decided to take the wolf’s help. He knew he shouldn’t be anywhere near a hungry, salivating wolf; in fact, it was rule number seven in the Ultimate Chicken Survival Handbook. It was sandwiched right between rule number six—never trust anyone named The Colonel, and rule number eight—always keep the secret of which came first. Cocky nodded to Walter. With his super sharp claws, Walter ripped open the lock like it was made of wet paper and hopped from the tree into the cage. “Quickly, quickly, climb onto my back before the guards return.” You can read the rest of the hilarious story for $.99 on Kindle, Nook, or Smashwords.