finally loaded! i think it was hanging for 1.5 hours there but processing content finally went away and it works again.
note to anyone having this problem in the future:took about 1.5 hours to process 235 books, do not panic and reset the device. i came close because i read a guy who said 2000 takes 40 mins but happy i waited.
it seems my problems were twofold,
1) had to convert back to epub to get covers to stay like the guy aboove said, the covers had to be reconverted and then saved even if they were epub already had
2) copy epub files out of the calibre library or where you saved them and drag and drop to kobo, sending to my kobo didn't work and i think that was the main issue
thanks for the help, even if you didn't comment reading back in old threads was a big help!