I feel your pain. I don't usually re-read either, so huge gaps between series installments can be disastrous for me as well. I've put this particular series on permanent hiatus until it's complete (and maybe longer), but I can suggest some good places to get quick, indepth refresher courses for those who don't/won't/can't re-read.
Tower of the Hand has excellent chapter by chapter summaries of the first five books (and the three prequel novellas). The fifth book
is A Dance with Dragons, so don't accidentally spoil it for yourself. The chapter guides are especially brief (and handy).
Adam Whitehead of the
Wertzone has also written four blog posts that do an excellent job of summarizing the series so far... up to (and including)
A Feast for Crows
Part 1 - The ancient history
Part 2 - The Dragon Kings era
Part 3 - A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings
Part 4 - A Storm of Swords and A Feast for Crows
Hope something there helps.