Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide
(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7AkTpJC2hA )
Good morning, everyone. I'm waking up to campfire woodsmoke today, so I'm going to accessorize it with a mug of Lapsang Souchong tea to go along with my rice! Burning lots of Balsam Fir incense since I returned from the Northwoods! Pleasant memories...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iridal
Thanks guys, for all the advice. I was really really really struggling with it, but I decided to have dinner with 'gent2' (as he has been dubbed here) because I wanted to go so badly and tell him first thing that I am seeing someone right now. But there's definitely something there. We just talked for 5 hours straight. About anything and everything. Without akward pauses. That's something I can't do with 'gent1', that relationship is more *cough* physical. Now I think I need to be honest to gent1 too ... I think I'm going to spend a sleepless night.
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At the risk of sounding crude, it's easy to get laid. It's difficult to find someone you want to talk with afterwards... Really difficult. Talking doesn't wear off over the years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by beppe
Iridal. Wait before straightening out with gent1. Wait until you know a little more about your feelings. Do not let them know about each other.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProfCrash
Go with your gut but you owe it to all parties to be honest about what you are doing.
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I agree with both of the above. And they do NOT contradict one another. Being honest does
NOT mean you have to tell someone
everything.
It means not lying to another.
If I don't like your new hairstyle but you love it, being honest does NOT mean I should tell you how ugly I think it is. It means I should keep my mouth shut. If asked, I would tell you what you wanted to hear.
Unless you are in a committed one-on-one relationship with No.1, keep your mouth shut about No.2 to him.
Do tell No.2. He needs to know that he's poaching in someone else's woods. But perhaps that is worth the risk to him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok
Poor advice, IMO. Honesty is always the best course. I know from bitter experience.
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No question about the fact that we can get burned pretty badly in the relationship game. Probably most of us have. But just as probably, we have all survived... We've gone on to find the relationships that last for us.
I spent 17 years as a bachelor between wives #2 and #3, dating and having a delightful time playing the field. Once I met my current wife, I knew IMMEDIATELY (by the third date) that I was all done playing around and was going to marry her. There was no question in my mind. 17 years of playing and looking... Bamm! Over, just like that. We've now been married almost 18 years, and I've never even been tempted to stray. If there is ANY doubt in your mind, do NOT shut the door on possibilities.
This is NOT to say that my previous marriages were 'wrong.' We grow, we change, our values and dreams change as we mature. Sometimes what is right for us at 24 is no longer valid at 34. Sometimes it is. Everyone is different. That's why we all have such different opinions here. All opinions are valid... for the 'opinioner.' (Is that a word?)
Take what works for you. And above all... good luck. It ain't easy.
I think I'd better have another mug of tea...
Stitchawl