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I don't know if I'd edit a book for style. For every person you please by doing it, you're going to alienate someone who likes the way you write. Personally I'd move on to the next project and work on developing the voice that makes me happy.
I'm pretty sure you're never going to please everyone, take a look at the "things that kill a book for you" thread on the general forums and you'll quickly realize that no matter what you do someone out there will hate it.
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