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My main thought is this section, "...on the behalf of the Epsilon Alliance: to head into neutral territory to join the Resistance in their fight against the encroaching Drilin Imperium" is dragged down by the details.
Seems like you can set the hook in us without using so many names. I'd say even to drop the characters' last names. You can give us those details inside the book. As a new reader of your work, those details are meaningless. Your blurb will be punchier without them.
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