Well, I searched online for Chapters stores that had the largest selections of WiFi Kobos in stock, and as luck would have it, my local store had 20 in stock! Good thing, because most other within the 100km radius had either none or anywhere between 1 and 5 (which can be sketchy depending on when they update stock on their website). Imagine my surprise when I went to the store with 20 in stock to go exchange my WiFi and the manager tells me they only have a few in stock and they have to be sent back to Kobo (and no Touch models, either). WTF? Guess the online stock was waaaay off!!!
He said he could call around all the stores to see if there was one I could go pick up, but honestly, I did not feel like driving across hells half acre just to get another one of these things. I figured if it was quick and easy to do at my local store, why not? The manager suggested calling Kobo, and they would send me a 'kit' to ship the Kobo back to them, where upon receipt they would inspect it and either fix it or send me a new/refurbished WiFi or a $ buy out towards a new Touch (depending on their decision). That doesn't sound like a good option. I would be without my Kobo for probably about 4 - 6 weeks!
I think I am going to wait until they have more 'Touch' models in stock (my warranty doesn't expire for until the end of October) and then try to exchange it then. We'll see...
In the meantime, I just have to be careful that I don't get any food in my button crack!!!