You can control whether or not *any* tags are sent, but you cannot pick and choose which tags are sent.
You might want to read
How does calibre manage collections on my SONY reader? in calibre's FAQ.
What many people do is create another tags-like custom column that is used to control collections. Replace 'tags' in the device customization with the lookup name of the new custom column (#something). That way, you separate collection management from tag management. The random tags that show up for whatever reason aren't used.