Update:

As I investigate further, I can see faint shadows on the screen when viewed from an extreme angle- I can't make out anything, but I can see that something is there. I have also verified that the touchscreen in working because I can unlock the screen (but only because I know precisely where the lock symbol is and how to slide it to unlock.

Support has told me that I may have to attempt the software reload between 3-5 times before it will work (coming from an IT background, I find that strange- but hey, they're the experts so I'll bite) so I'm going to keep trying over and over again.

Does anyone know if the length of time you hold down the menu and rotate buttons is a precise figure? The instructions here on the site say 10 seconds, but the instructions they sent me via email say 4-5 seconds. I've tried both multiple times, but no luck so far.