(I hope you enjoy reading this insane post as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. Great piece of drama if you're bored and have nothing else to read.)

I think I need to make a one-time post to help clear this up, especially as poor Chubulor continues to be tormented, and I think unfairly. This is not Chubulor’s fault (well, maybe a tiny bit…).

First off, unlike some cowardly people in the past, I’m going to name names directly, so that there’s no question of whom I’m talking about. (This way there won’t be any unintended hurt feelings )

The cause for my departure lies most heavily on the shoulders of jcase, who, like vicnic before him (and robot originally, but who has since proved himself to be a valued member with truly the truest of intentions), belligerently began threatening enTourage with lawsuits over access to GPL source. His point about GPL was admittedly valid, but his approach was inexcusably rude and petulant. In fact, the whole matter would just as well have been conducted privately and directly with enTourage, not publically in the forum, among people who really don’t care about GPL, and instead only get drawn up in a mob mentality and start running around with torches and pitch forks on a witch hunt.

This behaviour got my blood boiling, as previously happened when vicnic did the same. I’ve watched and communicated with enTourage since last December, and at all times they have demonstrated utmost professionalism, courtesy, fairness, and often providing (sometimes without other people recognizing) extraordinary customer service and bonuses. How many of you know that enTourage sent out $30 gift cards to the people that preordered their eDGe, indicating their faith in enTourage, and providing much needed customer support for a startup? How many of you know (or appreciated), that enTourage upgraded the first batch of shipments to overnight for everyone, and indeed shipped them out a day early (meaning most of that group *got* their eDGe on the day it was supposed to *ship*)? How many of you know the extra mile enTourage went to repair and replace problem units, without the grief you get from most big companies? Many forum members know how honourable enTourage has been.

For someone to come in, with absolutely no knowledge of enTourage, and slander the good name of the company and its staff was truly intolerable to me. Honestly! enTourage would have released the GPL code as part of the SDK in the Fall anyway, which would have been just fine as far as most of us were concerned. jcase was just plain rude in demanding it NOW or I’ll SUE. It’s like robbing a food bank. At a food bank, the food is handed out freely and gladly, but you are still expected to wait in line like a civilized human being. (And after all that brouhaha, where's jcase now? He hasn't even cared what was going on in the rest of the forum, or participate much, except in the new Development forum, and that only for a short period.)

However, what happened next was (merely?) a small last straw (a straw in the truest sense and analogy). First (getting back to the original thread that started all this, if you've gotten lost in my long diversion), NiaTrue began to be attacked when she tried to defend enTourage, and when walt526 misspoke in a post, a couple of members jumped all over him for being an enTourage agent. Attacks on their virtue were taken by me to be an attack on me, too, for I identified with them and felt anything that could be said (falsely) about them could equally well apply to me. True, my name was only mentioned in passing, without direct accusation, as Chubulor correctly points out.

It will help you to understand that I've been accused of being a shill in the past, so it's a sensitive point for me. The fact anyone mentioned my name in that thread made it clear that people still, secretly, suspected me of being duplicitous (in every joke there's an element of truth, right?). But, what really hurt was seeing alefor chime in with the same sentiment - a good member since April, and even he thought I (or so I percieved) was a fraud. Now, please, do not gang up on alefor! He was not malicious, but he voiced a sentiment I felt was an undercurrent in these forums.

At that point, I had two feelings. Mostly rage at the behaviour of jcase (and his accruing posse, as every bully has cowardly sidekicks, like MichaelV, that feel empowered by association), and to a lesser extent disappointment that some in the forum I've gladly helped and participated in, even after months of knowing me, secretly thought I was a fraud, which, to me, negated everything I had contributed. To some extent, I also had grown tired of the regular grandiose pronouncements of enTourage's imminent demise if they don't get their sorry act together and fix the poor excuse of a device that is the eDG - paraphrasing the posts, of course. Such people need merely open their eyes to the broader world and see just how far and wide enTourage’s business dealings extend, and how shallow the vapourware competition is by comparison. But, I digress

So, everyone, please stop harassing poor Chubulor, and Chubulor, stop feeling like you need to defend yourself. While you were a participant on the negative side of things, you were only a part. You do, however, need to stop chewing on that big foot in your mouth at every opportunity as you seem to not know when to shut up

Meanwhile, I've been working on figuring out if (and how) I can deal with problem people on these exceptionally civilized and friendly forums, and the sometimes stupid or rude things that are said (and I don't mean questions, as people seeking help never ask stupid questions). I have the problem of being too passionate on one hand, and having been unable to deal with dispersions on the object of my passion on the other hand. I care too much, you could say.

So, I have to decide if I want to ignore posts that I find offensive (and let other members flame them), or if instead I want to unleash such a flame firestorm on them that the poster will be coughing up ashes from what's left of their sorry backside (I rather like that turn of phrase...). The latter, of course, isn't really an option, as I myself will get kicked out of these forums. Perhaps if we all petitioned the admins to ban them by reporting their posts as offensive, that would be the way to handle it in a civilized manner? (Frankly, if I had done that on the thread in question, we wouldn't have a mess today, so perhaps it's all my fault?) And yet I feel so strongly that it's hard for me to stand by and say nothing when I see such appalling rudeness. Oh, and adding them to the Ignore List doesn't work, as other people will quote them and ultimately I get drawn in anyway. But maybe I can ignore them. I'll have to see.

Ultimately, I miss these forums very much, and I do feel I was unfair to the majority who did appreciate my contributions. I did what you should never do - give in to a bully. I really do need to grow a pair, don't I? But then, who really cares, and what does it really matter? The world will continue without missing a beat if I don’t return. But, hopefully I'll be ready to return to active participation next week, for better or worse...

(And I do apologize for the pathetically sappy tone on which this post ends. The post already was "Verbial Diarrhea" as a high school teacher put it.)