I can't try online editors. Not on the go, and that's a hefty part of my academic job.
3G is way too expensive unless your company is paying for that, and WiFi coverage is still not reliable enough.
As far as RPC is concerned I don't even know what that is... but again if this means being connected to another computer (via 3G, WiFi, Bluetooth, etc.) it's not going to work.

So what I need is (even a simplified version of) an office suite that can handle docs, presentations, and spreadsheats without altering the original formatting of MS Office or OpenOffice.

I mean, eDGe can already handle pdfs with annotations! That's fantastic!! But there is a bit more to editing texts than pdfs...