Singing a song in my head.
To the tune of 'lineman for the county' only the words tend to be.....
"I am a doorman for the kitty" Little bugga. I think he does it to exercise his authoritah! Now he is jumping on the computer desk rubbing his head on the speakers (to knock them over) and wah wah wah!
Bluddy cat now he goes out of reach - he knows he is not allowed there!
Got him (scruffed over the top of the monitor bluddy cat fur everywhere - bloke is going to growl if he sees that!) - now he is happy purring away on my lap. He will jump off if I stop patting and cuddling him.
Now on floor. Wait for it - wah wah wah, he wants out the front door. Because he is too lazy to jump over the fence, he wah wahs to go in one door and out the other.
See how exciting my life has become?