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A few David Beckham jokes:
1) Dave goes into a restaurant and after looking at the menu says to the waitress, “Can I please have a quickie?”
The waitress slaps him across the face and storms off. Taken aback somewhat, Dave calls over another waitress and Tries again. “Could a have a quickie please ?“ and again he gets a slap across the face for his trouble.
Seeing his distress at this little lot, a lady at the next table leans over and says “I think that it is pronounced ‘quiche“.
2) Why does David go outside when it is lightning ? He thinks that someone is taking photos.
3) Why was David delighted when he finished a jigsaw puzzle in two days ? On the box it said “3 - 4 years”.
4) David picks up a Thermos flask and asks the shopkeeper what it is for. It’s a very clever thing that keeps cold things cold and hot things hot”.
“Great, I’ll have one of those” says Dave. Next day at training he shows it to a team mate and tells him “This is a Thermos flask, it’s a very clever thing that keeps cold things cold and hot things hot”.
“So what have you got in it?” asks his mate.
“Two ice lollies and a cup of hot chocolate”
5) David checks into a hotel and the porter offers to show him to his room. As the door opens, Becks looks inside and says “Hey this isn’t the room I asked for, there’s no windows, no en-suite, no bed”.
“No Mr Beckham” says the porter, “This is the lift”.
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