[itimpi]

You do not need Calibre to recognize your iPad! The recommended way to talk to Apple devices is to use the "Connect/Share" button and then select the Connect to iTunes option. This makes Calibre treat iTunes as a pseudo device to which you can add epub format books via "Send to Device" which then appear in the Books section of iTunes.

The transfer between iTunes and the iPad happens the next time you sync it with iTunes. Note that this is for syncing books with iBooks. If you want to use a different reader on the iPad you have to do the transfers manually or (probably much easier) do them via WiFi from the Calibre Content server.