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They trust them to police themselves with MP3 audio book and music downloads, they trust them to police themselves with Overdrive mobile videos, so this point is not an issue. The libraries clearly have no problem with trusting borrowers to delete the digital files they borrow when they are supposed to.
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But this isn't an issue of libraries trusting their users.
Publishers require them to DRM the ebooks so they self-destruct. If they want to lend ebooks--they comply. Nobody's requiring them to put time-sensitive DRM on videos and audio-books, so they don't. This is why most librarians just don't care what you have to do to read them. They
do trust their users for the most part.
Trust doesn't enter into it... from the library's stand-point anyway.
EDIT: I thought I was clarifying something you said, but after a re-read... I'm pretty sure I'm just agreeing with you.