[WillieMcIntyre]

Never good to discuss book endings but if it stops people from smashing their ebook reader in sheer annoyance maybe it would be good to have some cautionary tales about books that really suck because of their endings. I have two examples: one is by James Patterson (or whoever wrote it for him). It is so bad I have expunged the title from my brain but it concerns the mass-kidnapping of some VIP's who are attending a wedding in a cathedral in Manhattan. The perps all escape by a most ingenious method and it seems like they have committed the perfect crime, leaving the hero stumped as to who they were - that is until the final chapter which someone has bolted on in a sort of 'crime doesn't pay' way. I'll say no more but - sheesh.

The other is by Lynda La Plante. Again I've forgotten the title but it centres around a serial killer (yawn) who is always one step ahead of the law. He's suave, sophisticated, enjoys toying with the cops and everytime they think they have him cornered, he thwarts their plans. As we near the end of the book it seems impossible that the heroine, a young detective, will collar the killer - until, that is, she tracks down an old car the killer once owned and finds in it a single sequin from a T-shirt, like one from a T-shirt his last victim wore on the night she was murdered. Okay, so I've been a criminal defence lawyer for twenty-five years but my office cat could get the guy off on evidence that weak - but what does Mr Previously oh-so Cool do on the last page? Yup he confesses to everything. "It was me what done it Guv." The end. I was reading the last few pages while waiting for a train and nearly threw myself under the Glasgow/Edinburgh express.

I hope I haven't spoiled a read for anyone but, honestly, if famous authors are going to take our money by writing supposedly realsitic crime fiction at least give us a believeable ending. Rant over.