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I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
Those people sound toxic and normally I would advocate cutting them off completely, but I understand your desire to keep them as a connection to your beloved, even if it's clear they don't appreciate, much less deserve you.
If they aren't all uniformly behaving like this to the same degree, maybe you could try and maintain the connection with the family members who are not so hostile to you and bypass conversations with the really nasty ones except when unavoidable?
In the meantime, maybe telling yourself that they're lashing out because they're grieving and in pain too will help. That may or may not be true, but perhaps it'll help you cope a little better with their vitriol if you can pretend to yourself that they're not acting "normally" and this too shall pass.
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