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Is it really the function of any internet site/message board to police the entire lives of their users?
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Certainly not. But I don't think it's outrageous that the owner(s) of a book-lending, email address sharing, facilitation type of online social network be held accountable for what their members are doing under the auspices of their provided services, either.
Keep the lending casual... unorganized. Otherwise... everything that publishers feared about ebook lending will have come true. Piracy's going to happen... it can't be stopped, but we don't have to build the pirates a brand new ship and give them a crew to sail her with.