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hehe... I love all the ones listed. A few other favorites are these:
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM
(I know that shock, I *totally* get this analogy!)
and
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
(That was always a huge fear of mine! Luckily, I escaped the solar eclipses unscathed...)
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