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Originally Posted by EatingPie
It's too bad that Heinlein felt it necessary that the main character should learn that one particular thing about human sexuality.
Which makes that one particular thing even more horrible, as it is there potentially influencing young and impressionable minds.  |
Nothing horrible about it, and it's one of the things I was talking about when I spoke of context earlier.
Note that statement is made by a
female character. RAH didn't make it up out of his own head. It's exceedingly likely he
got that notion from his wife Virginia, who was by all accounts a very impressive lady.
And as much as it may put
you off, you can make a case for it.
Mating behavior is an intimately choreographed dance, with a set of steps that must be taken to reach a conclusion. What if one party has a different idea of the steps than the other, or they are dancing to different tunes?
Think back on your own romantic encounters. You find a woman attractive. Your question is whether she reciprocates, and might be willing to mate with you. How do you know whether she does and is?
It's
not usually something explicitly stated verbally, where the guy says "You're hot! Wanna do it?" and the girl says "Sure" (or vice versa.) She communicates interest and availability in non-verbal ways, by dress, body language, and actions. It's your responsibility to correctly interpret the signals you are given and behave accordingly. It's
her responsibility to be aware of the context she is in and what signals she is sending.
I once had an interesting conversation with a former lover. For various reasons I could guess at but could not change, she was often quite unaware of what she was signaling. She lived in her head, not her body, and had never learned certain basics of behavior. I watched her interact with a guy at a social event, and had to tell her afterward "If you do X, he will assume you are available. If you do Y, he will assume you are not merely
available, but actively interested in
him. If that is not the case, you should not
do X and Y." She was quite unconscious of what she was communicating, with results that could have been tragic.
And they
were tragic some time later after we'd broken up, when a guy visiting her got the wrong impression of how she felt, and didn't realize till too far into things the impression was wrong. I knew her very well, and if the guy was who I think it was, I knew him very well too, and could have predicted the outcome. From his perspective, she would have been broadcasting "Yes, I want it", and he wouldn't have had the perspective I did that would tell him his perceptions were incorrect. (He was a fundamentally nice and decent chap, and would not have knowingly forced himself on any one. He thought she was playing a game where she pretended reluctance but really wanted to be taken. It's a fairly common game, and fun as long as
both parties are in fact playing it.)
I gets worse when cultural barriers are involved. Different cultures may have the steps in the action chain that constitutes mating behavior in different orders.
As an example, take a case during WWII. It was the build-up to the D-Day invasion. Hundreds of thousands of US G.I.s were bivouacked in Britain, waiting for the Joint chiefs to set the date on which they would climb into the landing craft for the Normandy invasion.
Allied high command got a stream of complaints for a British village about behavior of GIs at a nearby base. The village girls called the GIs "pushy" and "sex crazed". The GIs called the girls "prudes" or "whores". Investigation revealed what was going on.
A GI from the nearby base would take a village girl on a date. Things would go well, and they would like each other. The GI would take the girl home and try to kiss her goodnight.
In Britain, at the time, the kiss was a specifically
erotic act, that did
not occur until
much later in the relationship. What the GI was attempting to communicate was "That was fun. I like you. Let's do it again!" What the
girl got from it was that she had to either scream and run or get ready to have sex.
The steps in the action chain of mating behavior were in different orders between the two cultures, with dramatic results. And this was between two cultures that shared a common language and a common history till about 150 years before. Imagine what happens between men and women from
really different cultures?
It's not always the case, and rape is a real and pervasive problem. But in many instances, it's valid. As one local put it in a different context "If you ain't sellin', you shouldn't advertise!", referring to girls who dressed as sexily as possible, then took offense when a guy noticed and propositioned them. Gee. If you don't want that kind of attention, perhaps you should choose a different mode of dress?
I understand the outraged reaction of your female friend, but I'm afraid RAH had a point.
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Yeah, it's my opinion that some of Heinlein's writing is unconscionable, but I have distinct reasons for that opinion.
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So you do. Whether they're valid is another matter.
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Dennis