A cup of noname oolong.
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Originally Posted by Iridal
A cup of hot milk with honey and then off to bed. We have another national strike tomorrow, so there will be no busses and trams anywhere. Which means I have to take the car. If I don't want to be stuck in traffic for 3 hours, I'll have to get up at 5AM. Stupid strike 
Goodnight and see you all tomorrow! |
Sleep well!
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Originally Posted by beppe
Mine was not revealing but this is too important. So i deleted also.
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Sorry. It was too private. Some things you don't say in public forums. Some of these things might be told in a company of close friends in real life. Some never leave bedroom
It was silly of me to type what I typed
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Originally Posted by beppe
The point is that there are two aspects, the relation between two individuals and the marriage between them. Both have a different behavior according to which society and which time they belong, plus the social contest.
Iceland and Guatemala are not the same thing.
For sure we all aim to a long lasting partnership blessed by children, growing of wealth and all the nice things. Those high powerful trees in an opening of the forest, like the marriage of two high school sweethearts.
It is rare because we grow apart, with different aims and means although when we started we thought we were just one and only, body and soul. And that in previous lives we were already one thing.
When we grow apart too much and the overlapping of our lifes is less than the hanging out, we have both to resort to inner strengths, if we ever developed them, and to conventions, if they still exists and function. Or ... in the openings, new elements might sneak in.
So maybe that is a romantic idea.
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I agree with every word you said.
When two people meet, two universes come into contact with each other. Relationship is a life full of compromises. The less compromises you
must adopt, the better, the more alike two of you are if you see what I mean. Too many compromises and dissatisfactions start to pile up. An explosion inevitable.
I think one thing each part of the whole should accept from the beginning. You cannot change another person. You cannot break another person's character. To shape it so it suits your ideals better. You must decide before you commit, whether you can live with it or not. No false hopes that you might change the person.
Probably one of the advantages of not rushing and form permanent relationship when you are over 25 is that by that age you know yourself. You are a "finished" person. So, there is more chance to avoid what
beppe said:
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...we grow apart, with different aims and means although when we started we thought we were just one and only, body and soul....we grow apart too much and the overlapping of our lifes is less than the hanging out
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A piece of advice from me?
Be honest. Traditions, conventions, etc., don't matter. Be honest. there is no such a thing as: a woman is not supposed to say it to her man, a man is supposed to do it in the house. Discuss everything. don't keep anything to yourself.
That way you will learn about each other. Knowledge is the power. Eventually, it will help to answer the question: to be or not to be together .
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Originally Posted by beppe
You either lean back on conventions or you bet your life on your dream.
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I guess that is what my wife did.