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Originally Posted by WT Sharpe
I couldn't envision what it would be like to have my wife decide she wanted to be a man, but I'd like to think I'd be supportive if she did. It would certainly make for some big changes in my life, but I don't think it would be psychologically damaging to me, and least, beyond the damage that's already evident. Then again, I can't really say, having never been there. It would certainly be a test of "'till death do you part."
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In Dana's case, I believe she was bi-sexual when she and Tom married, and had been the dominant partner in her relationships with other women. I'm not sure why she chose to marry Tom, save that getting married was what you did when you were a woman of her generation and class. She was likely not prepared to come out as a Lesbian, and may not have thought of herself in that manner. Tom was a quiet and easy going chap who had (and still has) an aversion to conflict. He's the sort of fellow who will put up with more than he probably should because he's reluctant to open his mouth and openly object. She may have seen Tom as a reasonable compromise if she had to marry, because he was willing to accept her as she was.
Deciding she really wanted to be male terminated the relationship. As I recall, Tom was supportive to the extent of wanting her to be happy and not trying to block it, but her decision to leave him was devastating. At one point after they parted, I met her and her new male lover. She was still female, but my understanding was that she still planned to transition to male, and her lover would transition to female, whereupon they would become husband and wife. That part didn't happen: I think her lover decided he was happy being male, thank you. I believe Dana is in CA these days, but I've totally lost touch.
On a purely physical level, male-to-female transitions are better developed than female-to-male. Phalloplasty is a developing art, and not all F->M transsexuals choose to undergo it. Some simply have breast reduction surgery and hormone treatments to produce a more masculine body shape and musculature, forgoing attempts at creating male genitalia.
My friend Margaret enthused that "the technology is
wonderful" in describing her own transition, and regretted that she hadn't had it done earlier. I commented that the technology has improved dramatically since the Christine Jorgenson days, with particular development in recent years, and if she
had transitioned earlier, she might not have been as happy with the results. She agreed.
I suspect F->M technology is where M->F used to be a few decades ago.
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The story of your friends would make a great novel.
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IT might, but I have no plans to write it.
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Dennis