I just learned that two characters from
Eye of the Wizard escaped my home, wandered over to the blog
From the Shadows, and wreaked havoc. They're now safely locked up, but their silly interview remains.
Take a look here:
http://www.fromtheshadows.info
Or read the transcript....
Today we welcome Neev, a young wizard, and Romy, a demon girl. Both
are characters from the fantasy novel Eye of the Wizard, by Daniel
Arenson. Neev will be interviewing Romy.
Neev: "Oh dear. They have me interviewing Romy now?"
Romy: "Hiya!"
Neev: "I thought now that Eye of the Wizard is written and done, I'd
be rid of you."
Romy: "You're never getting rid of me, Mommy."
Neev: "Will you stop calling me that?"
Romy: "Why? You're a wizard. You summoned me from Hell. So now
you're my mommy."
Neev: "Romy, how can I be your mommy? I'm a boy. Just because I
summoned you to Earth doesn't mean that--"
Romy: "Can I have a lollipop? Please please PLEASE?"
Neev: "For Heaven's sake, you're a grown demon. You've tortured
sinners for a living. What kind of demon goes around begging for
lollipops?"
Romy: "A HUNGRY demon. Me want foooooood."
Neev: "Romy, how old are you again?"
Romy: "207. I'm big!"
Neev: "And you still act like a baby."
Romy: "I'm not a baby. Don't call me a baby. Just because I like
lollipops, and just because I have a teddy bear named Floofie, and
just because I decorate my pitchfork with ribbons, and just because I
suck my thumb, and just because I sometimes wear a bonnet, and just
because--"
Neev: "Romy, I get it. Can we just get this interview over with?"
Romy: "All right! And after that, will you play marbles with me?"
Neev: "No, Romy. No more marbles."
Romy: "Tea party?"
Neev: "No."
Romy: "Hide and seek?"
Neev: "No more games, Romy!"
Romy: "Chess? I always beat you at chess."
Neev: "No more chess."
Romy: "Sour loser. You cried when I beat you last time."
Neev: "Romy, I told you already. I had something in my eyes. Look.
We have to do this interview already. I want to go back to my
spellbooks. First question: What do you feel the main themes of Eye
of the Wizard are, and how does the author illuminate them?"
Romy: "Howza what now?"
Neev: "The literary themes. The moral purpose of the narrative. How
does your character's story arch illustrate them?"
Romy: "Illu-whose-it? Neev, are you all right?"
Neev: "Tell us about your character development throughout the novel.
How does Romy grow and change as the plot unfolds?"
Romy: "Oh! I get it. There was this time in Chapter Twenty, when I
drank some growth potion, and I became a hundred feet tall! Do you
remember, Neev? You looked like a little ant to me. I could have
crushed you!"
Neev: "Not that kind of character growth, Romy. I mean: How did you
develop as a person?"
Romy: "I'm not a person. I'm a demon, remember? You summoned me
from Hell. You should know that, Mommy."
Neev: "Stop calling me Mommy! Are you going to answer these
questions intelligently, or not?"
Romy: "I'm smart!"
Neev: "Lovely. So tell us, Romy. Do you feel the climax of Eye of
the Wizard presents a moral dilemma, which can only be resolved by
making a personal sacrifice, and if so, how is this choice
foreshadowed, and how does it solve the conflict presented at the
plot's onset?"
Romy: "Uhm... yes?"
Neev: "Yes what, Romy?"
Romy: "I like turtles!"
Neev: "That is irrelevent."
Romy: "Can I have my lolli now?"
Neev: "sigh Here you go, Romy."
Romy: "Mmm, yum yum, strawberry. Thank you, Mommy Neev!"
Neev: "I'd like to apologize to our readers for this travesty of an--
Romy, Romy, you're not supposed to eat the stick too! Romy! Stop
putting the candy in my hair!"