Quote:
Originally Posted by Exer
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There is just no talking to them about it though. The big bones are their "get out of jail free card" for any and all situations. They never have to own up to their poor exercise and diet choices because those big bones have complete control over every decision they make ...
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I know the kind of person you're talking about, mostly because I have tended to be one a lot of my life (I'm 40). Like you say, there are "big boned" people who don't fit into things like BMI very well
[holds up hand], but even as a guideline you know that if you're slipping past BMI "Overweight" into "Obese", then your bones aren't entirely to blame.
Not that you can necessarily do it, but find other measurements than weight to go by. Waist is a good one, seeing as unless your spine is a thick as a tree trunk, blaming "bones" is not going to cut it. Another is scales that measure body fat. Their margin for error isn't as small as the weight measurement, but if you're measuring high there you can't blame it on the bones either. Of course, there is the old "if you get puffed walking up a flight of stairs" measure too.
For myself, strictly via BMI, I think I will be "thin" (in bodyfat percentages) at the
high end of "Normal", and at the moment that's what I'm aiming for. People tell me recently how "healthy" I'm looking, and here I am knowing, and seeing in the mirror, that I've a good 9kg/20lbs to go, being most of the "Overweight" range to slog through. It's going well mostly, but a realistic view is certainly helpful (I'll review my estimation when I reach my goal...maybe I'm not as "big boned" as I think). A couple of months should put me there, going by the rate of weight loss over the last three months.
Denial is a hard one to break, as you know. It takes self-realisation more than external comment. Mine was driven somewhat by strained vanity (the beach, my love, is a spot-lit stage for body image), and getting past the knowledge that even when I do become "thin", my being "big-boned" will not make it obvious to many (even, when younger, when I was a very fit cyclist and swimmer, I was still occasionally referred to as "chunky" due to my stumpy stature
). But it was also somewhat driven by knowing that The Loved One had a heart attack 20 years ago partly caused by weight, and my failing and self-denial was not helping him keep the change of lifestyle that brought him back to right in the middle of "Normal", with good fitness to match.
I don't know how you break through with others. Honest self-appraisal is hard to do, and hard to encourage. I suspect that any judgemental negativity hardens denial (at least initially. Later...?). Sorry. But the thing is, I think, if you break through with
one, and they succeed, then "comparative anatomy" at your average family gathering will certainly put a large chink in the armour of the others (and enormous pride into the psyche of the successful one).
Cheers,
Marc (just back from a bike ride)