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Three men were flying in a plane.
One dropped out an apple the other dropped an orange and the other dropped a grenade.
After landing they were walking down the street and saw a kid crying.
They asked him why he was crying and he said "an apple hit me in the head".
Then they saw another kid crying he said "an orange hit me in the head".
Then they saw a kid laughing his head off and they asked him what was so funny he said
"I farted and my house blew up!"
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There is a boy, and its his first day of kinder. and he doesnt know the first 5 letters of the alphabet. so his teacher asks him, "whats the first letter of the alphabet?" the boy says, "i dont know my alphabet." and his teacher tells him to ask his family and friends what the first three letter are. so he gets home, and asks his mom what the first letter is and shes watching tv and she says, "shut up im watching jepoardy!" so then he asks his sister and she has her boyfriend over so he asks her what the second letter of the alphabet is, and she says, "come on baby lets go" so then he asks the garbage man what the third is, and he says, " nothin but garbage nothin but garbage" so then he asks his grandpa what the fourth letter is and hes watching a gameshow so he says, "do it! do it! do it!" so then he goes and asks his brother what the fifth letter is and hes reading a comic and yells, " bbbbbbbbBATMAN!" then when he gets back to scholl his teacher asks him what the first letter is and the boy says, "shut up im watching jepoardy!" and his teacher is mad and asks, "lets go to the principals office" and the boy says, "come on baby lets go" and he gets to the principal and the principal asks, "who do you think i am?" the boy replys, "nothin but garbage", and he still thinks hes reciting the alpahabet! and the principal says, "im gonna call your parents", the boy then says, "do it do it do it!" then the principal says "okay ive called them, whos gonna save you now?" the boy yells, "bbbbbBATMAN!"
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The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
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