Resetting the router fixes the problem! I am an idiot and you Scion are a bastion of common sense
Now I can get back to exploring more fun things to do with the newly rooted device...
Quick question for you that probably belongs on another thread but maybe I get lucky and get an answer here. What launcher do you use for your NC? I'm new to the Android world so my homescreen is ugly right now haha. And have you been able to get all live wallpapers working?