[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by Pookeysgirl

Both my children have problems in school. Especially with reading. They're both at least a grade behind and they're only in 2 & 3. Every report card is poor or ok. I can't afford a tutor and I'm at a loss as to how to help them. Right now their testing my oldest (8) to see if he has learning disability. Up until now we all thought he was just being inattentive (I think some of the teachers they've had just plain suck too).

Bad teachers are a factor. Inattention can have other causes, too, so getting him tested is a good idea. Dyslexia is one thing to look for. ADHD is another.

Reading was never a problem for me, and I always read above my grade level. I don't remember not knowing how to read. Of course, I had an example set: my mom read to me every night before I went to sleep, so I picked up the idea early. She told me in later years that I grasped the concept well before I could do it myself: she would try to fast forward through something to get on to other chores, and I'd say "No, Mommy! You skipped this part!", and unerringly point at the section she skipped over.

I've always read anything that didn't read me first and some that did, and I know where I got the habit.

You might try spending some time reading to and with your kids. See what stuff you can come up with they might like, and play switch off: read some to them, then give them turns. Pick stuff a little beyond their level if possible, so you can help them with the hard parts.

Unfortunately the school they attend doesn't believe in holding kids back a grade. "It's bad for their self esteem" they say...my butt.

Your school has bought into the whole "social promotion" myth. You might ask them what happens when the kids finally graduate as semi-literates with no prospects because they haven't learned basic skills and can't do anything, and what their self esteem will be like then.

How do they think they (the kids) feel watching all the other kids get good grades while they bring home C's and D's...or worse.

Assuming they know what grades the other kids got. (No doubt the kids who get the top grades trumpet it...)

Just last night my son turned to me with tears in his eyes and said "Mommy, you know what? I'm never going to get an A, no matter how hard I try".

And maybe he won't. All you can do is make it clear to him that all you care about is that he does the best he can, and care far less about whether he gets an A than whether he is trying hard.

We don't all give birth to geniuses and some kids NEED to be held back in order to move forward.

In part. We also need to accept the fact that different kids learn different things at different rates, and make allowance for the differences. Not all kids can be taught in the same manner.
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Dennis