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Lori,
If you want to share books, then both nooks need to be registered using the same B&N account. The easiest way seems (since your husbands B&N account is linked to two devices already) would be to unregister your NC and re-register it using his B&N account. If he's using a password that is the same as his email password, he can just login to his B&N account and change his password to something you both know in order to access the B&N account.
If you want to maintain two different B&N accounts, the only way to share books that way is to share devices as in physicaly swap readers back and forth.
Hope that helps!
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