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On the way over, I figured out a way in. It wouldn't keep my good driver discount, and I think the insurance adjuster would faint. But...
I pulled up near the beach house, and put on my night goggles, gas mask, wrapped the rope around my mid section, and got out the Bowie Knife and the smoke bomb. Some jobs call for guns, some jobs call for knives. This was gonna be a knife job.
I pulled my SUV into one of these circular driveways in the house that was two houses over. I carefully pointed the nose of the SUV so it would graze the front of the beach house where VR was. I hunted around and found a paving stone I could use and put it on the floorboard. I opened the car door, hung on to the the door frame, an reached in to put the SUV in gear, it started trundling towards the beach house.
About 15 meters from the corner of the beach house, I dropped the paving stone on the gas pedal and jumped.
I rolled with the knife hand stuck out over my head. I didn't want to stab myself. The SUV roared across the front of the house and suddenly it was the Fourth of July. Claymores started goin' off like firecrackers, and the SUV was shredded. By the time it reached the end of the house it was burning merrily, and about another five meters on the gas tank let go with a huge WHOOMP, flipping it over and lighting up the sky.
I raced along the front of the house, pitchin' the smoke grenade through one of the shattered windows. Enough shrapnel had bounced off the SUV to knock out all the windows along the front of the house. I then ducked and crawled to the another window in the front of the house. Smoke was now starting to pour out of most of the windows. I used the Bowie knife to clear the glass out of the window frame and snuck into the house, goggles and all.
Now all I had to do was find VR, grab him, and go, before the Alameda cops got there. I'm certain the neighbor didn't appreciate flambe' de SUV in their neighborhood watch area...
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